(:38)
It was 10 years ago

When you held my sanity
As the one who I talked to
Amidst the madness and grief
Your words comforted me

While I suffered the pain of loss
At a time I questioned my own identity


Your unmistakable beauty
That haunts my memories


(chorus1)
Yet as I visit the paradise
Where our ashen memories lay to rest
The smoke masks the redwood scent
I am unable to reminisce anymore

(1:18)
Through the woods we ventured
You enlightened me with nonsense
Yet we both laughed in ridiculous enjoyment
You were there to fulfill the romantic dream

I was captivated by the paint that left your fingertips

Your unmistakable beauty
That haunts my memories


(chorus1)
Yet as I visit the paradise
Where our ashen memories lay to rest
The smoke masks the redwood scent
I am unable to reminisce anymore

Yet as I visit the paradise
Where our ashen memories lay to rest
The place where I once confessed
Caged in blind renovations of the years

(3:10) (chorus 2)
Despite being miles away
Beyond the continent and the atlantic
It is as if you were here with me

I felt that warmth
of your creative words


A guiding light through the unknowns of life
For I would have ventured into the darkness in fear

(x2)

(4:13)
The reality of broken dreams manifest
As we tread through the twists of events
Coming to the painful conclusion
That we deny with our own hearts

Contrary to the institutional dogma
That ensnared our young minds with commercial means
thus we were left with broken dreams
And wretched souls

(4:35)
But with you, these voices drowned in noise
For when I felt your hand…
But with you, these voices drowned in noise
I harbored courage to carry on

(5:00)
Witnessing the sunset as
we always did
On this wooden bench over looking the Pacific

As the canyon
of redwood trees
Lead a path of water, gated by the wild meadows of oaten grass and California flowers


(5:26)
The sun which you still worship
Sets in orange hues
which shine through the overcast
Just as it does now with the smoke
As the fires burn ever so closely
To this forsaken place of memories

Xxxx

Alive in the past
Dead in the present
As the clock moves forward
Leaving me behind,


in this liminal threshold
You drifted far away from me
For we were never meant to be
For I never deserved such happiness


I endured years of solitude and torment
Only haunted by ghosts of deception
The shadows always lurked in the corners
forced to venture into the darkness alone

Where the sanity which you once kept for me
withering away into forsaken memory
Screaming at the painted faces of these walls
Yet the cocoon of madness remains silent


There are many moments where I forget
Yet I am unable to move forward
My sight, tainted by the image of perfection
I have lost trust in myself


Beyond the threshold of insanity
Ideals imprinted into this self falters
This counterfeit identity has been extinguished
Replaced by an acceptance of the inevitable madness

Yearning for its acceleration
Unwilling to compromise
Unshackled by the chains of morality
Turning away from the ideals of justice


The flames that haunt our garden
Now burn into my soul
I now forge a new identity
One which all will submit in fear

Throwing away what was instilled in us
To you, I am now just another stranger
To me, you are just an old valentine
All I feel now is a sense of nostalgia


The wilted grass of these dull fields
And the ashen clouds that fall
An embodiment of those moments
Forsaken for so many years ago

The wilted grass of these dull fields
And the ashen clouds that fall
An embodiment of those moments
Forsaken for so many years ago


Lost in these woods
As death lingers closer
To truly revisit this place once more

Lost but never forgotten
I will be the last
To look away
For the last time
Giving a hidden chapter its closure



For all the promises that were broken
For all the hatred nurtured in my heart
For all the regrets during these years
For all the sins I will commit

(final chorus)
Now, I visit as a stranger
You are a ghost that haunts these hills
Only the eyes of strangers meet mine
And the cold redwood scent purifies no more

This world is no longer mine
Only faint hints of once used routes
And the towering pillars of pine
On the slopes of the dried ravine
Rest as remnants of this world



Yet the sun oppresses in an orange hue
On the shadows of these forgotten woods
Forsaken for so many bittersweet years
This is my final letter of nostalgia, my valentine